that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize