Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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