flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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