i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
