hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Two words: nipple clamps
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