I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
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I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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