Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We're too hungover to prance.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
