Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
