Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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