One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
