Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
