Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
