We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
