Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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