How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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