i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
