I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
