when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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