I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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