it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
