It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
