? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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