I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
