But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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