I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
