He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am one with the molecules
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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