you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
