U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
