i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
