so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
