Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
