How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
