mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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