His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
