I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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