mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
