Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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