I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Life without a bra equals bliss.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
