Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
