We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
