i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
