I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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