wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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