How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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