can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
