I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
