walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
