I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
