fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
