i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
