PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
