it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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