just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
