once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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