I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize