Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
