Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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