You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
