Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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