Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
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I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
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I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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