Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
