I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
vagina is talking i cant
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You don't make any sense
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