Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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