I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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